battle of the network stars

This morning, my husband paid me a compliment. During the early morning hours before I was really awake, he actually said, “I like these pajamas. You look ready to take on Lou Ferrigno in The Battle of the Network Stars.”

Yep. That’s what he said. So, two things you need to know before we go forward. First, the pajamas are terry cloth shorts with a tropical/floral pattern and a peach colored tank top. They are very “summery.” Second, as a reminder, Battle of the Network Stars was a TV series that aired from 1976 to 1988 in which television stars from ABC, CBS and NBC shows would compete in various sporting events. Type Battle of the Network Stars into google and you can see lots of great photos.

After 22 years of marriage, I have collected a treasure trove of similar comments on clothing. When I go shopping, I often have to tell salespeople why a specific item won’t work for me because I can predict what my husband will say. I have bought items, excitedly put them on to go out and have then never worn them again because of these amazing “compliments.”

Here are a few of my favorites:

• I bought a great looking black, double-breasted blazer with gold buttons and was immediately greeted with, “What’s up, Sgt. Pepper?”
• Any wide leg pants are deemed “clown pants” or “pantaloons” (emphasis on the looooons when spoken out loud.)
• In 1994, I had a pin stripe linen suit that was off-white with narrow black lines that I thought was very stylish. This was my “NY Yankee travel uniform.”
• Another black blazer that included a fabric belt that tied in the front was greeted with the chorus from “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting.”
• There are also items that fall into the general categories of “looking like a Muppet” or “too Little House on the Prairie.”

My husband is always surprised that these comments have any affect on me. He likes going for the joke and is clearly not being serious. I do not want to censor him at all but it’s pretty funny to me how much this has become part of my regular life. I bought a blue textured, almost fuzzy, coat yesterday and I will probably avoid wearing it around him until I’ve garnered some positive feedback from other sources. There’s no way something blue and fuzzy won’t stir his creative juices. Will it be “Cookie Monster”? Or, “Sully” from Monsters, Inc.? Or, will he surprise me?

Getting back to today, I’m dying to know how he got from what I see as a tropical or beachy shorts pajama set to reaching back to network television from when we were in elementary school. And, seriously, why am I specifically taking on Lou Ferrigno, the original “HULK”? Chances are, I will never know.