fun with nextdoor

Most of the time I find blog topics by going about my normal life and happening upon a new idea, awkward situation or a funny social interaction.  Now, as we “shelter in place” I have found myself with a lack of blog post ideas. My friend Katie R has urged me toI talk about the random, ridiculous stuff that gets posted on our neighborhood email lists.  

I do think that having a neighborhood connected through a site or email list is a nice thing.  I enjoy the idea that neighbors would have each others’ backs. But, I also enjoy being a voyeur on these email lists and using them for material to make me seem funnier (at least to myself.)

Years ago, I was in a parent group email list and I remember someone trying to sell their extra swim diapers.  I want to say they were being offered from somewhere between $2 and $4 a piece – a discount off of whatever new swim diapers cost at that point in time.  I could not stop thinking about how my mom (see “jane for president”) would rip me a new one if I tried to sell swim diapers on the secondary market.  

Recently, there were two posts that struck me as both funny and entirely puzzling.  This first post is from our neighborhood email list.  I do not know any of the people who posted but I can’t stop telling people about this virtual interaction because I think it is so funny.  Here it is and then I’ll tell you why it is such a stand out to me. Important note: the post included a photo of the bearded dragon that I omitted here.

Liz: Missing Bearded Dragon: Our bearded dragon was sunbathing outside and escaped. It’s a long shot but if anyone has seen him we miss him dearly. He’s about 16” and has orange coloring on his back.

Carol: So sorry to hear this. A hawk or a crow could possibly have taken off with him. A hawk landed in my son’s backyard tree recently with an 8 foot snake dangling from its beak. The snake was alive and writhing until the hawk bit off its head and flew off again with it.

Wendy: Unnecessary Carol.

John: That’s too bad. Didn’t you also lose a tortoise several years ago? 

Liz: Yes we did! Torty

Liz: Found him! Scared and hungry but alive. Shocked he survived overnight!

First, I love that Liz has strong feelings for her bearded dragon.  Second, Carol and Wendy’s reaction to Carol are everything! Carol’s need to deliver this dark prophecy with detail and without softening the blow to Liz is a bit shocking.  Wendy’s one-word response could not be more effective. Third and finally, Liz had a tortoise named “Torty.” Why does that disappoint me a little? Maybe a child named this pet but it feels like “Torty” is the tortoise equivalent of naming your cat “Snowball.”

This second post comes from my son’s college parent’s Facebook page.  This appeared after his admit weekend in spring 2018. Please consider while you are reading this that almost none of the parents on this page know each other, their first and last names are on their posts and it is pretty easy to figure out their kid’s names from their parents’ post.

S: Thank you! This was an informative time where I met and connected with fellow parents. This was a great first look and time of getting familiar with the campus for my daughter. She is a loner and did not connect with anyone but did participate in activities and saw some dorms. There were some tears Thursday evening when she was lost and some disappointment last night when she wanted to go to an event at a fraternity house but had no one to go with. Our final decision is YES – see you in August!

H: My son is a loner too! He’s there on his own (thankfully he has a friend who is a freshman so I know he talked to someone) so I’m not sure if he made any connections. I’m hoping he found his people!

Where to begin with this one? S concerns me so much more than H. Is it possible that her daughter has social anxiety because her mom broadcasts all of her awkward moments to large groups of strangers? Is S unaware that everything on the internet can be found, saved, screenshotted and used against you in perpetuity? S needs a 3-day workshop (preferably led by me) on social norms for ages 13 and up.  I feel like Netflix could make a series based on following up on posts like these because people like me desperately want to know: Did your daughter see this post? If so, did she disown you? Did she make friends in college? Does this school still seem like the rights choice? 

H does seem more connected to the real world than S but why call out your son as a “loner” when he has the opportunity for a fresh start in college? I appreciate that H sent her son to admit weekend without a chaperone and is at least treating him like an adult. Honestly, I have read this post at least 15 times since first seeing it two years ago and I am still in awe of the cluelessness displayed by S.

Feel free to email me with your favorite post.  I would love to compile a top ten list and post it!