streaming in place

Mandy sent this text the other day, “So fun—I can come to a socially distanced happy hour instead of arguing more with Craig about our next Netflix show.”  Clearly, my husband and I are not the only ones having trouble lining up our media watching plans.  

We are regularly having the following conversation:

”What are you watching?” 

“I am watching After Life Season 2 (fill in any show that added new episodes since shelter in place).  It’s a new release this week.”

“What? I thought we were watching that together.”

“I don’t think so. I am pretty sure I was watching season 1 on my own.”

“No! We were absolutely watching this show together. It is a violation that you started season 2 without me.”

“Is it? I didn’t think you were into this show.”

“No, I was clearly into this show – we watched season 1 in like a week.”

“OK then, I need you to get through episode 2 of season 2 by tomorrow.”

I think we had gone through this back and forth once or twice a week. I knew in years past that we were watching certain shows together. We were absolutely watching Survivor, Breaking Bad, and Game of Thrones. Originally, we were watching Project Runway together but I have been watching it alone for the last two or three seasons. I started Killing Eve, really liked it and then offered to pause and let him catch up but he opted out. In fact, he is always a little bit hesitant about my picks and often gets interested in shows only after receiving a third party invitation.  

In the time of Corona, the stakes are higher. Desperate for content, stuck at home and limited options for distractions, our streaming options are dwindling.  Plus, there are five days a week where my husband is working for 11 hours a day in our dining room. My life is not as busy as his and I have the opportunity to watch shows during the workday. I don’t watch stuff all day, every day, but I can sneak in an episode or two while I eat lunch or use the treadmill. 

Similar to the dog walking, laundry and dishwashing chore charts we now have in place, it may be time for a matrix for entertainment viewing.  “Green” shows can be watched with abandon and without any regard for what others are watching.  Right now, the shows in that category that I am watching are Outer Banks, Big Little Lies and LIttle Fires Everywhere.  He watched Waco without giving me a heads up and I was totally fine with that. “Yellow” shows can be watched separately or together but there needs to be notification prior to watching.  Our most recent “yellow” shows included the updated Queer Eye series, The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, and Unorthodox. 

The real tension is of course related to the “red” shows. These are the shows that we watched together, loved and greatly anticipated new episodes and seasons. If I were to have watched any episodes of the most recent season of Ozark on my own and without written permission, there would be serious tension in our home. Similarly, if my husband were to watch a new season of Broadchurch without me, I would be fully justified in giving him the silent treatment for 2 to 3 days. 

It all seems so neat and tidy when I think about it this way but I know there is still some room for disagreement. I can easily imagine implementing the red/yellow/green system and then ending up in a conversation just like this:

“What are you watching?”

“Better Call Saul.”

“I thought we gave up on that show.”

“Yes but three different people told me that it gets better so I am giving it another chance.”

“I feel like we should have discussed this before you picked it up again.”

“Why? You bailed on it when we started season 1.”

“Yeah but it’s a spin-off of Breaking Bad and that’s a red show. Maybe the most obvious red show. And, spin-offs are red shows by the transitive property.”

“Really? When did the spin-off addendum go into effect?” 

“Uh, I would say that is an obvious logical follow-on to the tenants of the agreed upon and implemented red/yellow/green entertainment watching agreement of May 2020.”

“Once you incorporate the lawyer lingo, I’m out.”

I really hope that Mandy and Craig are having these same conversations and not just politely and respectively choosing shows and enjoying peaceful, quarantine evenings together. I need to know that many of our friends and family members are struggling with this same issue just like we are.

NOTE: Last night, I asked my husband to read a draft of this post. I went into our bedroom to see if he had any feedback and he was watching The Last Dance. I could not believe it. I asked him to record that show so we could watch it together and now he was secretly in episode 2! And, he denied knowing that I wanted to watch it together! Luckily, I have my daughter as a witness to this and now she can verify that the struggle is real.