dear wardrobe

Dear Wardrobe,

I have been meaning to write this to you for several months. I am sorry I have waited so long but in the summer and fall I thought we would be back to normal. Now, it has been more than ten months since we were in our regular routine and I think I need to do some explaining.

First, to my beloved shoes: I know you are feeling confused and hurt.  You see the Ugg slippers coming and going – having a life beyond the closet – and wonder why the worst looking shoe is somehow the most popular.  Then, three newcomers were added to the lineup in February – a functional, flat black bootie, a less functional, black, kitten-heel, suede bootie and a highly vetted black pump meant to fill a utility slot that had been vacant for several years – and only the flat bootie has made its official debut.

I regret to admit that since February 2020, my shoe game has dissolved completely. I know the sandals had a few moments in the sun and the casual sneakers were promoted from “days only” to “days and nights” but I know most of you felt ignored and unappreciated. I want to apologize most fervently to the boots, flatforms, platforms and heels. I still love you. I miss you. I promise to do better starting sometime later this year.

Second, the dresses need to know that their future is secure. I can’t say exactly when but the events you were supposed to go to in March and April will happen at some point. Yes, sundresses – you were an exception. You benefited from the efficiency of being a one-item outfit. There is a very special rookie in the group who was picked up from tailoring on March 11 (just days before shelter-in-place), who was slated to go to a fundraiser in April. To you and the other beloved pieces who proudly still have their tags in place: the vision I had for us will be realized.

I have to ask that you all have some patience with me. I fear that I have forgotten how to get dressed beyond athleisure. I know it is a little irrational but there could be some fits and starts. When we start having indoor places to go, outside the house, with other people – be prepared for clumsy accessorizing and lots of indecision. 

Finally, I’m afraid I have some tough love for the pajamas, workout gear and athleisure groups.  Of course, the utility of your category cannot be overstated. The Peloton needs you. The treadmill needs you. Dog walks are impossible without you. You can rest assured you are still crucial to long distance car travel and all air travel. But, my plan is to demote you. In order for us to rejoin the world, your job description has to be reworked. Instead of being the all-day uniform, I would like to see you in a part-time position with a more defined set of duties. This job is still an important contribution to the whole and will hopefully allow you to shine in the areas that you were intended.

This has been a tough time for all of us. I know it was awkward to say goodbye to some friends who were victims of multiple, manic closet clean-outs. I promise you they were given to new homes where they are valued and being treated well. I know this sounds very cliché, but we are stronger for having been through this together. Some time later this year when we start being invited to graduations, weddings, birthdays or dinner parties, we will celebrate our renewed commitment and respect for each other.

In gratitude, me.