beyond barry’s

Last week, I returned to Barry’s Bootcamp for the first time since June 2021 (see “dreading the tread”). I am telling myself that I am going to take the classes I paid for pre-Covid and then I am happily going back to my home gym. I am very content with the routine I have created at home and no longer feel like paying for exercise classes beyond my monthly Peloton subscription. This resolution is very surprising considering that in March 2020, when I first heard that the world might be shutting down, I quickly booked two Barry’s classes hoping that I would be able to sneak them in before it was too late. I had zero concerns about contracting a deadly virus but I had major issues with disrupting my normal exercise routine.

Luckily for me, those last two classes were canceled and I didn’t get the opportunity to be the Bay Area’s Patient Zero.  As covid took over, I decided I should make a note to myself so I would remember which gym and how many classes I had prepaid so that after normal life resumed, I would be able to pick up right where I left off. Two years later, I feel dread when I look at the list on the e-sticky note: Barry’s = 11, Core Power Yoga = 3, OrangeTheory = 17 and F45 = 4.

This new mindset of not wanting to head back into gyms and workout with other people outside of my house is something I did not anticipate when Covid began two years ago. I have been a group exercise, gym person since the mid-80’s when my best friend Nikki and I joined Nautilus Aerobics Plus in Encino, Ca. Since then, I have belonged to at least 10 other gyms (24 Hour Fitness, Equinox, Form Fitness, Evolution Trainers, Courtside Club, Gold’s Gym, etc) and have participated in almost every exercise trend including aerobics, step aerobics, body pump, kickboxing, spinning, boot camps, yoga and circuit training. 

I go to group exercise because I think it makes me work harder,  with the presence of other people challenging me. I had always assumed that working out alone, in my house, to recorded classes would be boring and ineffective. My pre-covid self felt strongly that a tough girl like me needed to take the hardest classes out there and keep banging my head against the wall regardless of injuries or a lack of results. My post-Covid self is ready to admit that all of that hard work had some payoffs (more stress reduction than actual changes in my body) but it is not worth making class reservations up to a week ahead of time, being presentably dressed for public exercise and showing up with my game face ON.

Over the course of the last two years, I have really enjoyed exercising on my own timeline. I love walking into the next room instead of driving in morning traffic, worrying about parking and being slightly panicked about getting to class on time. I had no idea how much joy I would get out of no longer caring what I wear to workout. Being alone and working out at home, means I am doing much less comparing myself to others and the critical voice in my head has less material to work off of. In a normal group exercise setting, I might note that many others on the treadmill are running much faster or lifting heavier weights. Here at home, I barely even notice myself. I am also deluding myself into feeling I am friends with my favorite Peloton instructors but that’s kinda post-Covid normal.

This past Sunday at Barry’s Bootcamp, there were only a handful of people who I would say were in my age range. The average age in the three classes I have taken so far is about 25 – half of my age. When I scan the room, I often catch the eye of someone I believe is in my age group and we exchange knowing glances. I feel that we are saying to each other, “I see you. I realize that we are here and both in the ‘older’ group of participants. I would say something friendly to you but I can’t have our younger classmates see me talking to you because then they will really know how old I am. Having said that, I am here for you if you need me.”  At home, the equivalent scenario is when you touch a button on the Peloton screen and give someone in your recorded class a “high five.” When you take the “group” out of the “group exercise,” things are just so much simpler.

There is a possibility that at home workouts are just the next item on my list of exercise phases and a year from now I will be touting the benefits of a new trend. I have not told my mom that I am retiring from group exercise but when I do I expect that she will express some disbelief and disappointment. Although she is devoted to her 1987 Stairmaster, she is waiting eagerly for Barry’s Bootcamp to reopen in Sherman Oaks, Ca and is terribly jealous that I am able to attend classes in my area(even though my location sadly only offers 50 minute classes and she prefers a full 60 minutes).

Today at Barry’s, the instructor acknowledged my extra efforts when I slightly increased my speed on the treadmill during the last sprint of the day.  I felt the tough girl inside of me respond to the tiny morsel of positive feedback but, for now (or until I deplete those exercise classes paid for pre-Covid), my mind is still made up.