nyc experiment: week twelve and faq

nyc experiment: week 12 and faq

Two weeks ago today, I published the nyc experiment: week 11 post and the last fourteen days have been a blur. We took off to visit our daughter on November 16 and spent four days with her in Amsterdam and then flew with her to Copenhagen where she is studying abroad for the semester. After an overnight flight to Amsterdam, we committed the worst European travel blunder by falling asleep for a solid two hours and that misstep has caused ongoing sleeping issues. After gathering an abundance of recommendations of things to do, we managed to squeeze in a bunch of activities: the Anne Frank house, a mokumboot rental, the Van Gogh museum, a food tour, an abbreviated bike tour (it got very cold), a walk through the red light district and a VIP tour of the Heineken factory. In Copenhagen, we focused on whatever our daughter wanted to show us and we enjoyed having her tour us around and introduce us to her new friends. The confidence gained by living in a foreign city looked great on her.  

We landed back in New York on November 23, the busiest travel day of the year, and were shocked by the empty international terminal at Newark Airport. We spent Thursday and Friday with our son and felt like the roles were reversed from Copenhagen – now we, the parents, were showing off our new city to our son. We took him to one of our gyms, got coffee at Joe Coffee on Waverly and Gay St, picked up breakfast sandwiches at our favorite bodega, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, ate lunch in Chinatown, went to a nearby speakeasy “Employees Only” for pre-dinner drinks, had an raucous Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant in the West Village with two families visiting from California and their adult kids, had brunch at The Little Owl with old friends from SF, watched the World Cup at The Spaniard, had pizza at Denino’s, drinks at the Up & Up, went to the Comedy Cellar with our new NY friends and their adult kids, did our last NYC Barry’s class and bought Levain cookies to bring home with us. 

On November 26, we packed up our 1,000 square foot apartment and flew home to the Bay Area. Since then, we have been unpacking, cuddling with our dogs, seeing friends and fielding a bunch of questions about the experiment. So, I’m going to try to answer all of those questions here:

How does it feel to be back? What is the best part of being home again?

It is more of a transition than expected. We were both very excited to take a shower in our spacious bathroom with double the water pressure we had in our NY apartment. We are eating in as much as possible and planning to cook regularly. We are excited to catch up on our binge watching (The Crown Season 5), get reacquainted with the items in our wardrobe that we left behind three months ago and lounge on our comfortable sofa. Our neighborhood feels very quiet. 

After getting home on Saturday, I went to get cash from the ATM and realized that I had forgotten our code. Somehow, since we left California in August, I used only the cash in my wallet and never got more. While in NY, I stopped carrying my wallet with me and 99% of the time used my phone to pay with ApplePay. The only times that I needed cash were for foot massages and meals in Chinatown. By the last week, I was not even carrying a purse – just my phone and a lip gloss mostly because it was too cumbersome to get the cross body strap over my Aritzia Super Puff mid H2O. I had reorient myself with my wallet and organize my handbag now that I am back to carrying cash, keys, phone and glasses.

What do you miss the most about New York?

I already miss our morning routine. It was the most structure I have had in my life since my kids were in school and when I would go directly to the gym after dropping them off. Getting up at the same time, walking to the gym together, working out and then walking home together was ideal in so many ways. We are trying to put together a similar schedule here but it starts much earlier and there is no walking back and forth. The idea of driving to the gym by myself seems really unappealing right now.

We both miss the energy of city life and the ability to go out any night of the week to a new restaurant or event that is always packed with people. While we eventually tired of the restaurant food, we did not get tired of the experiences and all of the people watching.

When we do go out here in the Bay Area or Southern California, we will miss the convenience of the subway and Citibikes. Someone said to me, “There is nothing like living in a walking city.” And, I agree. This was my first and only extended stay in a walking city and it was huge for me.

Are you going to do another experiment? If yes, will it be in NY?

As of right now, we are hoping to do another two month stay in NYC next fall. We have also discussed trying other cities, specifically London, but that will have to wait until at least 2024.

Was the experiment as successful as you hoped?

It was more successful. We enjoyed almost every bit of it and did not anticipate what it would do for us as a couple. We feel more connected and on the same page and, I know that makes some of you want to throw up, but I had to say it. In the back of my mind, I had some concerns that if this experiment did not go well, I would be really depressed. I was worried that I might be bored and lonely while my husband worked through the afternoons and evenings and I tried to fill my time. I researched several classes, workshops and activities that I could do on my own and, in the end, did not need them at all. 

I will forever treasure the two days I spent at the Met with my friend’s daughter (and now my friend) where she told me everything she knew about the art we saw there. I feel very lucky to have had two straight weeks with my closest friend from college – concentrated time that we have not had together since we were 24 years old. I had weekly lunches with a college friend who lives in NJ. I have the best feeling knowing that she made time for me each week and also was able to renew her love for the city because of our experiment. I value every moment I spent with old and new friends who made a point of getting in touch while they were on the east coast and carved out time to be with me. 

What is your advice to anyone thinking of doing something similar?

* Bring some of your own bedding and towels. It just makes things feel a lot more familiar.

* Try to see your accommodations in person before you move in. We had a lot of anxiety before arrival and I felt some mild panic when we moved in.

* Location is more important than luxury. People frequently told us: “The West Village is for people with dogs, Tribeca is people with strollers and the Upper East Side is clean and quiet but boring.” 

* Ask everyone you know – older, younger and the same age – for things to do. Their lists will not be the same.

* Bring ⅔  or ½ of the clothes you think you need but do pack a rain jacket.

* Keep an ongoing record of what you are doing while you are there: who you saw, where you went, etc.

Will you have anything to write about it your blog now that you are back in the suburbs?

I hope so. It feels like I have hooked a few new regular readers and I need to find a way to keep them engaged. While the material is probably not going to fall into my lap quite as easily and I will likely have to go back to creating my own Larry David-esque scenarios, I’m excited to close out 2022 with a few worthwhile plans including a drag show birthday celebration and New Zealand with my family. Stay tuned!