why did I keep this?

We have been living in the same house since May 2002 – almost 23 years ago. We moved in when my son was two years old and six weeks before my daughter was born. The house seemed huge when we bought it. I remember looking down the hallway from the kids’ bedrooms to through the kitchen to the family room and I thought about how it was so much space. We moved in with furniture from a house less than half the size and some rooms remained unfurnished or barely furnished for years.  

Over time, we remodeled the guest bathroom, then the primary bathroom, then part of the kitchen, the backyard, the front yard and we even added on so that our kids would enjoy separate bathrooms. Everything happened very piecemeal and with the help of five different designers (which I know does not make me look good and maybe subject matter for a future blog post)). For several years, we have looked at other houses hoping to find something more modern and suited to our empty nest lifestyle, but we never saw anything we loved. A year ago, we finally decided that this house will be our forever footprint in the Bay Area and that it was worth doing one last remodel to make it the post-kids house we really wanted. 

We are now more than six months into that remodel and, hopefully, 80 days away from being done. We originally thought the completion date would be February or even early March but now we are resolved with a move-in at the beginning of June with an annoying punch list being addressed through the summer. A few things you should know about this remodel before I continue with this story:

• We are living in the house while it is going on. We configured a studio apartment out of our son’s former bedroom and bathroom, and are able to use our laundry room, kitchen and backyard. The bedroom, bath and the laundry room were all updated in phase 1 of this remodel last summer.
• The remodel includes smoothing all of our walls, which necessitated removing everything from our house other than what we have in our “one bedroom apartment.” We sold and gave away some of our things ahead of the project and also have two storage spaces and a bunch of stuff in our garage.
• With the help of a designer we love and admire, we are completely re-furnishing the house. From our existing furniture, we are only keeping two light fixtures, two mattresses, one set of nightstands, and our art. Everything else will be brand new.

The preparation for this project started last spring when I started the endless process of moving out of our house. For the last 22+ years, I thought I was relatively on top of the amount of stuff we were keeping and also fairly diligent about clearing out cabinets, closets and drawers and giving things away when we didn’t need them. It turns out that I was mostly wrong and somewhat delusional about that. You absolutely do not realize how much stuff you have that you don’t need until you pack it up, store it, unpack it, repack and attempt to organize it. Almost every box that I have taken to storage and then opened back up months later is at least one third full of things I do not need. During the busiest time of our lives – basically from when we moved in until our daughter went to college in 2020 – there were so many things that came into the house, were put somewhere and have remained there for many years. I realize now that It is nearly impossible to do this kind of Marie Kondo exercise without a move or remodel forcing the issue.

Here are the weirdest things I have kept for 20+ years:

* Combination lock from UCLA. No idea what I used this for in college because I did not have a locker but I know that I have kept it because I thought, “You never know when you might need a combination lock!” So I typed the combination and printed it on my label maker and stuck it to the back of the lock. Guess what? We are currently using it at our storage space. That’s a win.

* Cookbooks that my grandmother gave me. I have made zero recipes from these cook books.

* Halloween candles that I forget to use every Halloween. 

* A box of VHS tapes and “mixed” cassette tapes even though I do not have a VCR or a boom box. I did manage to let go of our entire CD collection that had sat in a drawer since I spent weeks “ripping” my CD’s into my Apple Music library in the early 2000’s. I tried to recreate a few of these mixtapes by making a playlist but that effort is still in process and, therefore, the mixed tapes remain in storage.

* Multiple pre-iPhone devices like MP3 players and pocket size video recorders and about 100 random cords and plugs. I constantly live in fear of needing to charge something and not having the right cord.

* China, crystal glasses, vases, serving bowls and candlesticks that were wedding gifts and have only been used a maximum of two times. Something is keeping me from selling all of this “formal dinnerware” to Replacements and I cannot figure out what that is. What happens if I suddenly become a person who hosts formal dinner parties?

* Kids’ ski gear that was purchased when my kids were in junior high (they are both out of college). This was finally acknowledged and resolved with a trip to Goodwill.

* A bag of buttons. I have collected every extra button from every clothing purchase in my entire adult life. I believe this weird hoarding activity is also a function of some depression-era gene that I inherited about not being wasteful or anxiety over having my favorite item being ruined without an emergency replacement button. As I reflect on this, the button and cords/plug collecting are clearly the same deep, unresolved issue. The buttons are currently remaining in a drawer in my laundry room.

* Here is the item I feel really conflicted about – my Morey Boogie Board, acquired around 1980. This thing was my pride and joy. For all of the other 1970’s tomboys out there, I know you feel me. I definitely don’t use it in Northern California but there is a convincing voice in my head that urges me not to give up on a future where I spend all day boogie boarding and then driving home with sand in my bathing suit bottoms. While putting this list together, I found out that my new friend Carrie, also a Southern California native, has her original Morey Boogie Board too!

When we began a year ago, I had no idea that doing a remodel would flesh out so many unresolved issues about “stuff.”  I happen to be writing this post from my childhood bedroom and am looking around the room reflecting on my things that still reside here: my prom dress, my blue suede roller skates with navy blue wheels and toe stop and a black and white framed photo of me at age 4 that was signed by everyone who attended my Sweet 16 (in 1986!!). I guess this my strange collection of stuff extends to my parents’ house too!