ask me about covid

On Tuesday morning, November 10, my husband found out he was positive for COVID-19.  But before that, he tested negative on November 5. And before that he played golf with a friend on October 31 who had COVID and didn’t know it yet. By November 12, I just “wrote off” the entire month. I took my expectations for anything good or fun happening in November and let go of them. Between my husband’s recovery, my quarantine, my daughter coming home from college and whatever my son was gonna bring home from his pod of fraternity brothers, there was no getting back to normal until after Thanksgiving. 

On November 5, we ran out and got tested and then waited for the results for two days.  On that second day, I got my negative result at about 10 a.m. My husband’s negative result did not arrive in his inbox until about 7 pm – a full nine hours later.  I feel compelled to mention that my husband has some hypochondriac tendencies.  Actually, that’s an understatement. He has full blown hypochondriac tendencies.  Since COVID-19 took over our lives in March, he has diagnosed himself with COVID at least four separate times.  He starts feeling “symptoms” in the morning that escalate through mid-day but somehow subside entirely by the time he finishes work and gets on the Peloton.  As we waited for his first test results, he started feeling “symptoms” and claimed that he “didn’t feel right” during his 45 minute cycling class.  When his negative test results were delivered that night, his concerns about being sick quickly dissolved.

Because my husband had seen his parents on November 1, a day after being exposed, their doctor requested that he have a second test.  At this point, we had no idea that someone might test positive after testing negative 5+ days after their initial exposure.  He went to take his second test thinking that he was just going through the motions for his parents’ benefit.  We woke up the next morning to the news of his positive test results.

There are a lot more logistics than I anticipated associated with a COVID positive spouse.  First, we had to figure out how best to live in the same house with one positive and one negative. Luckily, I have a few friends who were willing to jump in and provide a bunch of highly specific, urgent instructions.  My friend Bryan flew into action and had me ordering supplements and explained by phone (too complicated for text) how we needed to not eat before or after sucking on Zicam chewables – and definitely not chew them. Second, I had to decide how much to worry about my husband being sick. My defacto coping mechanism is to assume everything is going to be OK and that’s all I had to go with.  I was confused about whether I should be prepared to get sick, focus on him being sick or actively try not to get sick. 

Once the household was marginally under control, I needed to manage a lot of questions from friends and family.  The easier to answer questions were, “How is he feeling?” and “Does he have any symptoms?” My initial responses were that he is feeling fine and working like normal at our dining room table. But, the moment he stopped working he felt sick and proceeded to have flu-like symptoms for 3 days. The tougher questions people asked were, “How did he get it if he was only outside with the guy who was positive?” and “What does this mean for playing golf? Is it not safe?”  Of course, a very popular question/statement was, “How are you negative if he’s positive? You must be immune or you already had it.”  I’m no infectious disease expert but suddenly my medical opinion was relevant to several people. 

Then, people started to offer their own theories on how my husband could get COVID while playing golf.  It was clear that people wanted to find ways to change our story so that they did not have to change their own COVID management plans.  “They must have had drinks inside the bar!” No, they were never inside together.  “Did they share a golf cart?” No, they walked the course and carried their bags. My friend Hannah came up with the best theories that would explain my husbands exposure but allow her to continue playing doubles tennis and getting drinks at the club outdoor fire pit.  She theorized that my husband and his golf buddy shared a drink – or possibly a quick make-out session. My husband found both of those ideas equally unlikely.  “Dudes don’t share drinks.” And, “If I was gonna make-out with a guy at the golf course, it wouldn’t be him.” So, Hannah moved on to her sneeze theory. The exposed golfer must have sneezed in my husband’s direction while they were less than 6 feet apart. We were willing to let her go with this theory and she seems satisfied that this is what happened.

When I eventually came out of quarantine, I started to collect an interesting assortment of COVID opinions.  A chiropractor told me that if you are negative after 3 days, you won’t test positive after that. She also pointed out that more people have syphilis in her area than had COVID. A shocking statistic that I did not end up fact checking it but am still thinking about.  A spin instructor and massage therapist told me that 67% of the population is immune to COVID and that heathy people (like those that attended her indoor spin class several times per week) also don’t get sick.  Other people offered me their opinions that testing was useless, 10 days was the correct quarantine for exposure and that the CDC was too political.  

Now that it is December, I am considering extending the “write-off” through the end of the year and possibly to the end of winter. Honestly, it is just easier to lower expectations and let the days roll by in a haze of online shopping, puzzling (yes that’s now a verb) and constantly changing the few plans you actually have to do something outside of your house (walking dogs, playing tennis and going to the grocery store.)  Although, the optimist in me is also thinking about booking a vacation for May and starting to plan a make-up 50th birthday party for June or July.  One thing is for sure, I am now qualified to answer any and all COVID questions you may have, so ask away.