Survivor: The Menopause Battle

Dear Jeff Probst,

I am writing to you as a devoted Survivor watcher. I have been with you since the first season and was excited to enjoy the 50th season this past winter. After so many amazing battles, this is an excellent time to switch up the game and make the contestants contend with some crazy, unpredictable challenges. As most superfans have figured out how to build the puzzles, find the idols and play the social game, I believe that your audience is ready for something truly different.

Here is my pitch: Survivor: The Menopause Battle. Each tribe will include one menopausal woman (independently verified by a CBS provided doctor). Each of the “M-women” will be identified to their tribes from the onset and are not eligible to win the cash prize at the final Tribal Council. The number of M-women will correlate with number of tribes in the season (3 tribes = 3 M-women). Here is how the game will be played:

Accommodations

* The M-women stay in luxurious lodgings adjacent to their tribe. M-women are provided: their choice of mattress, pillows and sheets, blackout curtains, ear plugs, sunscreen and bug repellant. They are allowed and encouraged to bring as much luggage as desired and given regular laundry service. They are served three meals a day (or less if preferred) and can make special dietary requests. 

* The rest of the castaways will live as they have on previous seasons, gathering water from a well, wearing dirty clothes, not showering and sleeping in make-shift shelters. 

Challenges & Game Play

* Tribe members will operate as they normally do – making alliances, searching for idols, competing in challenges while also navigating the whims of M-women.

* M-women will not participate in challenges unless they volunteer to do so. However, they will decide without input who from their tribe will participate and in what role based on who they think is smart or athletic. For example, they will dictate which player will complete the puzzle portion of the challenge. 

* In order to properly incentivize the M-women to make choices in their tribe’s best interests, they will be rewarded with spa services if their tribe prevails in a given challenge.

* Making the M-women feel seen and heard will be the primary challenge for competitors. Players will need to read the room on a regular basis, walking a fine line of being accommodating, interested and attentive but not patronizing. As an example, helping an M-woman learn new skills on her phone in a patient manner with a friendly tone, may earn considerable favor leading into challenges and votes. 

Tribal Council

* Per usual, tribes that lose challenges will go to Tribal Council. There, each tribe member will present their case to the M-women who will confer and choose – without the tribe members voting – who will be voted off. 

* The criteria for being voted off can and will change depending on weather, moods, lack of sleep and outdoor & indoor temperatures and may include (but is not limited to) likeability, helpfulness, good looks, humor and resemblance to friends or family. 

* Idols may be played to avoid being voted off but tribe members should consider that this strategy may make the M-women feel ignored, usurped or gaslit. 

* The M-women will ultimately choose the winner of Survivor 51: The Menopause Battle. Their deliberations will occur in front of the finalists and will include a list of grievances compiled throughout the competition that may or may not be related to the final three contestants or the game at all. The number of M-women making the final decision will correlate with number of tribes in the season (3 tribes = 3 M-women). 

Jeff, please consider this treatment as a starting point for the ground-breaking new era of Survivor: The Menopause Battle. There are a plethora of candidates for outstanding M-women such as former actresses, athletes and moms of famous people or even infamous former Survivor players! Menopause is a hot (no pun intended), trending topic as evidenced by the popularity of hit shows like Hacks and the online meme “cougar puberty.” 

I look forward to discussing this idea with you and the production team at Survivor.

Respectfully and under the influence of hormone replacement therapy,

Denise